James Mayes

Blog: A drive-by yoghurt attack saved my life!

In Humour, Personal on February 11, 2011 at 10:27 am

No, it’s not just link-bait…. true story!

Watching a stand-up comedian last night brought a strangely surreal moment back to me – and as it’s Friday, I thought I might entertain rather than educate for a change. Yesterday’s post was a rant – this one’s for fun!

About four years ago, shortly before our son was born, I was at a networking event in London. “Yes dear, I’ll make sure I get the last train home”. Famous last words. Clearly, I missed the last train which came all the way to our town, and had to make do with later running services which would at least get me somewhere near.

Full of trepidation (and a few beers…) I rang home to update my ever-patient wife.  She actually agreed to come pick me up from whichever station I could get to, but was clearly very unimpressed (and did I mention? Heavily pregnant!).  I fell asleep on the train (c’mon, it was late) and after waiting a half hour at one station, I had to re-direct her to another.  As you might imagine, this call was not well-received.



I took a seat outside my final station and awaiting the arrival of my ride home.  Whilst waiting, a couple of young lads in a battered old car drove past at a ludicrous speed – and threw a yoghurt at me.

Direct hit.

The suit, the laptop bag… covered. With a reasonably serious headache starting to gather momentum, I was furious – but powerless.

When Beth eventually arrived, she had nothing short of murder in mind. The sight of me – and my disbelief at the drive-by-dairy attack – moved her almost immediately to uncontrollable hysterical laughter.  Thus my life was saved by a pair of young louts, to whom I should be (but am not!) eternally grateful.

I hope that’s cheered your Friday….  got an episode of your own to share?


  1. James,
    Great story. Haha. I do have one of my own but it’s really far too embarrassing!!

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